Communication skill is always listed among the most critical of all interpersonal skills essential to be an effective leader. This is just as true of the Christian minister/leader. Whether you are researching leadership, management, sociology, ministry, or family material, communication is usually in the top three essential people skills for healthy function and relationship.
- Glossary: communication
The act or fact of communicating; intercourse by words, letters, or messages; interchange of thoughts or opinions, by conference or other means; conference; correspondence. (Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary)
- Psalm 19:14 (NIV)--“May the words of my
mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord,
my Rock and my Redeemer.”
- My working definition in this chapter, simplified in the graphic
below, is: “Interpersonal communication is the exchange of meaning
between persons, senders and receivers, through words, experiences, and
actions.” --Lloyd Elder
This study commits itself primarily to interpersonal communication, focusing on interchange of meaning between individuals and small groups as an effective leadership skill. The study content is drawn from many sources: biblical, theological, ministry, theoretical, practical, and experiential. A primary source for the thesis is from Samuel Canine and Kenneth Gangel, Conflict Management in Churches and Christian Organizations, p. 16--“Communication is meaning exchange, not word exchange.” This series of articles reports topics of study such as:
- Communication tasks and functions
- Biblical guidance for communications
- Choosing your communication channels
- Communications between people
- Active listening
- Responsive feedback
- Small group communication
[See Servant Leaders Library: another set of articles focuses on Congregational Communication.]
Interpersonal communication may be one-on-one as a message Sender(s) and Receiver(s) in immediate interchange of roles through selected channels. This may also be true within a small group, showing that communication is open and interactive. David W. Johnson, a social psychologist, defines interpersonal communication:
Interpersonal communication is commonly defined as a message sent by a person to a receiver (or receivers) with a conscious intent of affecting the receiver's behavior.
Two Views of Communication
In an article on abacon.com web site, there is a description
of interpersonal communication as either contextual or developmental.
- The contextual view of interpersonal communication considers the number of people involved, their physical proximity, the sensory channels used and the feedback type, and immediacy.
- The developmental view regards different types of relationships:
salesclerk, friend, family, competitor; with interpersonal communication
referring primarily to those who are regarded as unique individuals.
What does “communication” mean to you? You may want to jot down your thoughts even before you read further in this article. Keep putting yourself in the loop as you see what others think about communication; reflect on the application of these definitions.
- The dictionaries: Communication means “to make
common” (Latin) our separate knowledge, experiences and feelings.
Communication is the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information as
by words, speech, signals, writing, or behavior.
--verb: importing, sending, transmitting, connecting
--noun: intercourse, interchange, correspondence, conference - Management text: “Communication: An interactive process in which a sender transmits a message--containing facts, feelings, and attitudes--to a receiver who sends a return message indicating his or her reception and degree of understanding.” --J. Longenecker and C. Pringle, Management, 6th edition, p.662
- Communication text: “For our purposes communication is the transmission of information and meaning from one individual or group to another. The crucial element in this definition is meaning.”--Business Communication, Guffey, p. 11
These concepts enlarge our use and application of interpersonal communication
in ministry roles.
Your Communication Practice
What kind of communicator are you now as you go about your life and leadership?
How much do you enjoy the benefits of interpersonal communication? According
to one resource, J. L. Bledsoe, Training (Mar. 1976), pp. 18-21,
and supported by other authorities, there are four communication styles
based on two contrasting behaviors. The two behaviors are:
- Assertiveness--directly expressive of your own thoughts and expectations, even an attempt to control others.
- Responsive--openly concerned for the feelings and thoughts of others and a willingness to respond appropriately.
Four communication styles (Bledsoe, pp.18-21):
Which of these four styles is your dominant communication behavior? Although
each style description is concise, put yourself in the picture and see if
you want to make a change in your style:
____ Driver--highly assertive: even directive in expressing your own thoughts; tends toward being demanding and controlling.
____ Amiable--highly responsive: primarily concerned about the feelings of others; not expressive of your own thoughts, and not very task/results oriented.
____ Analytical--low assertiveness and responsiveness: internal “mulling over” issues with little or no expression, or interchange, or action.
____ Expressive--high assertiveness and responsiveness: concern for both, actively expressing yourself but also eliciting and caring for the feelings of others; task and people oriented.
The research materials present still other styles of communication, but
these four are a helpful summary.
At this point, how would you assess your practice of interpersonal communication? What questions do you have?
Improving Your Skill:
It is impossible to improve your leadership skills without improving your communication skills. The potential benefits of effective communication skills--in fact, the hopeful expected outcomes of this article--are more than worth your effort of intentional development. These include:
- healthy self-understanding
- satisfactory, trusting relationships
- nurturing help to other people
- success of the church's ministry groups
- development of other servant leaders
- evangelistic and discipleship results